A Note Left To Me From My Husband

A note left to me from my husband this morning:

“A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it.”

Today I had resolved to live my life and his beautiful note was a reminder that I am truly loved and supported.  I am trying to reach that pointHearts Double in my life where potential failure is not a barrier to my dreams, but rather a challenge to overcome.

In two weeks, I will turn 50 years old.  I have not started my own company.  I have not published a book.  I am still allowing others to decide what my life will be.  I continue to work at a job that I do not like, it is stressful and everything is an emergency – someone else’s emergency – and what I do really has no impact on this world.  I am not happy.  I am holding myself and my passion hostage to the need for money, stuff, and the approval of others.

Reading Oprah Winfrey’s book “What I Know For Sure” one entry hit home with me.  To paraphrase, she says “I’ll never forget the moment when I decided to always choose myself.”  She was leaving a job to pursue a passion; he told her “You’re going to fail.” (We’ve all heard that one before.)

She replied, “You’re right, I may not make it and I may be walking into land mines. But if they don’t kill me, at least I’ll keep growing.”  She chose happiness and it was her choice.

That’s really all I want.  I want the choice.  There is always a choice and I have to be ok with the possibility of failure. The ability to pick myself up, dust myself off, and try try again!

I am afraid of so many things.  I am afraid of how quitting my job will look to others – will it look like I am giving up?  I am afraid of not having that big fat pay cheque every 2 weeks.  I am afraid of hurting my family financially.  I am afraid of not being financially ready for old age (I AM turning 50 you know)!  I am afraid that my idea will fail and I will not have another idea.  I am afraid it will not be as fun as I think it will be.  I am afraid of missing out on other things while I am trying to work on my passion. I am afraid of people judging me, laughing at me, thinking they are better than me.  I am afraid I’ll lose (something).

Today, I am at the point where I believe that I can work through all those fears.  I am not confident that I will succeed, but I am 100% confident that I will try.  Today I am willing to put aside everything else to work on my passion (not just think about it) and put the DO into action.

Today, I am willing to look like a fool, ask stupid questions, and take risks in order to work towards my goals without worrying what other people think.

What are you afraid of?

What are you willing to do about it?  Today.

Tell me what you did today to achieve your goals and what fears you stomped to the ground.

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